10 Things The Newly Single Guy Should Never Wear In fact, all dudes might want to take this in if you have free oakley sunglasses any desire to raise your sexy index out of the gutter. Steve oakley polarized lenses McQueen, Johnny Carson, Sammy Davis, Jr, Bruce Lee, and John Wayne: some of the coolest guys to ever walk the planet. Classic cool never goes out of style. Modern day guys like George Clooney and Jamie Foxx have figured out cool. One huge part of the cool factor is your wardrobe. Celebrities, for the most part, can afford to wear the best of the best. But many times, it isn't what you wear that makes you cool, it's what you don't wear. There are certain things a man should never wear, even on a dare, even on laundry day. If a guy finds himself newly single, especially after a long term relationship, chances are his wardrobe needs to be tweeked. Individual styles aside, let's start out by throwing a few items away immediately. Sometimes a guy's fashion sense dissipates when a he has been in a comfortable, long term relationship. After a break up is a good time to take stock of his clothes rack for the first time in a while. Here are ten items that must be trashed at once. Crocs. How is it possible that these still sell? Every comedian alive has taken a shot at crocs. I shouldn't have to put them on this list, but I still see men wearing them almost every day. I oakley com sunglasses went to a sporting goods store the other day and saw an entire display wall filled with camouflaged crocs! Camo crocs exist; who knew? I guess if you are going to wear crocs, it's better if they are camouflaged so no one will see them on your feet. I have never heard a woman say, "Well, he's super cute. He has a great job and he's so sweet to me. Oh, and I love the way he fills out his crocs!" Crocs are the laziest of all male fashion choices. They say, "I really don't care at all what I look like." The "fishing shirt." I use quotes because dudes are not actually wearing them while fishing. The untucked, vented in the back, top is boxy and screams that you're hiding a beer belly. You're not fooling anybody. Two words: Portion Control. I've heard men say they like to wear them because they are cool, as in temperature, to wear. Well, so was the mesh half shirt. Remember those? Oakleys. Oakley sunglasses make you look like La Forge from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Geordi La Forge had to wear Oakleys because he was blind and his visor helped give him vision. He literally had to wear them or he would have been blind! That's a tough choice: Oakleys or vision? In addition to looking odd, Oakley sunglasses also make for strange facial tan lines. Guys, also, please don't wear them on the back of your head when you decide to take them off the front of your head; you're scaring children. Go buy some Ray Bans. Ray Bans are classic cool and look good anytime, anyplace, and while you are wearing any outfit. When Jon Hamm dons a pair of Oakleys, then so can you. Running shoes with long pants. When you wear a pair of New Balance or Nike athletic shoes with long pants, the pant leg gets caught up on the heel of the shoe. The pants also get caught behind the shoe's tongue. Your poor pant leg does not know what is happening! The bottom of your pants wind up getting trapped around the shoe every time you stand up. You are forced to unbunch your pant leg constantly, or just leave it as it is because you end up "unbunching" so often that you give up. There are lots of different styles of cool boots you can wear, or you can wear fashion sneakers like Vans or Chucks. The fashion sneaker is low profile and the pant leg easily falls over it; boots of any kind travel up the pant leg a bit, so again the pant leg rests correctly on your footwear. The tops of running shoes fall in no man's land. The pant leg has no chance to rest in a normal position. Pleated dress pants. Pleated pants make you look like you are wearing an adult diaper. If you do not need such protection, then just buy regular pants for heaven's sake. The puffy front crotch area looks like you've been partially inflated with a bicycle pump. Not flattering. Gimme T shirts. If you catch a t shirt that was shot out of a cannon at a sporting event, throw it back. These tees are oakley minute sunglasses the lowest quality shirt that can be manufactured; that's why they are free. Freebie tees are made to fit everyone, so they fit no one. They are too boxy on the bottom and the sleeves look like leg holes. Often times, the gimme tee runs a little short in length, which can create "plumber's crack" anytime bending over is required. Silky Shorts. Silky shorts are those athletic shorts you wear while playing basketball, or what you wear at the gym when you work out. It's totally cool to wear those shorts while doing said activities. However, for some reason, guys started wearing these around town. Is it possible you just barely made it up from your gaming chair to get dressed? Were you in such a hurry when you woke up to get someplace that you ended up wearing what you slept in? Usually guys end up holding their keys, wallets, and phones while wearing silky shorts because they don't have pockets, or the pockets are so sketchy that those items end up falling out so often that guys just hold their stuff in both hands. Sports Jerseys. If you are under the age of 14, you can wear your Jeter jersey anywhere you want. If you are a grown man and going to an actual game, wear your jersey; that's fine. Maybe. But, if you are just wearing favorite player's jersey out for the day, don't. It is odd. Just because the jersey is expensive doesn't mean it looks good when you're wearing it. Wearing shorts when it's cold outside. This doesn't quite fit with the others on the list, but in the words of a tween girl, "OMG"! Go get some Levi's, insert legs in leg holes, and be normal. Fancy Pants. Imagine John Wayne out on the open trail. Dusty hat, leather vest, boots, and denim wear: required attire of any man out West. Now imagine his jean pockets adorned with silver thread embroidery and flap pockets. The Duke would never and neither should you. It's a free country, wear whatever you want to wear. It's no skin off anyone's nose. Imagine wearing three or four of the items on this list at the same time.
No one could look away. It would be the fashion equivalent of a rare solar eclipse. People would stare even though they'd know to look away or risk blindness.
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